Monday 31 March 2014

Noah's a Psycopath and God's a jerk - Why Biblical Popularity Isn't a Good Thing

God is an exclusive, impersonal, silent, angry jerk who vaguely outlined his judgemental plans of destruction to a psychopath who was incapable of finishing the homicide God couldn't do properly Himself. At least, that's what I learned from watching the movie Noah, which opened in theatres last Monday.

When Hollywood first announced they would make a film based on the three chapters in Genesis, no one's expectations were high. A well-budgeted action movie directed by an atheist could hardly be expected to keep itself within the material provided by three measly chapters. Creative liberties were going to be taken, and fundamentalist Christians weren't going to like it.

But isn't it good that the Bible is popular once again? Isn't it great that millions of people across America have been inspired to crack open Genesis and give the story a little once-over? In the midst of all the profane, sexual entertainment, isn't it wonderful that God got to steal a little bit of the spotlight this week? Well, quite frankly, no. Because God isn't in the movie. Some sort of deity is, but its not God. And that means that all the social media explosion, all the controversy and all the hype of this movie isn't making the Bible popular – its just making it misunderstood.

Most of the creative liberties taken were (not surprisingly) ridiculously unbiblical. For example, some fallen angels got encased in stone and then helped Noah build the ark (say wha...?). But these creative liberties aren't actually what bother me. In fact, the only inaccuracy in the movie that was really bothersome was the portrayal of God. He's a jerk. If Noah's going to be a psychopathic baby killer, that's rather disturbing – but when God's indifferent about it, that's an issue.

If the Bible were able to be boiled down to two basic themes (which it shouldn't be) it would that man is wicked, sinful and deserving of judgement, and that God is gracious and loving and offers a way of escape from that judgement. The stories in the Bible aren't their for historical value or for storytelling entertainment, they are there to advance this simple message. The movie Noah certainly captured the wickedness of man and God's judgement against their depravity. I was actually very impressed with how they portrayed humanity – fallen, depraved, and desiring to make humanity in their own image. There were also a few profound shots, like as the waters rose and the last people clung to a mountain peak – no doubt this is what God's judgement really looked like (and will look like again).

But what was lacking in the movie was a gracious God who had any desire to save people. The God in Noah wanted to save innocent animals and kill wicked people, and in his impersonal, silent-but-deadly kind of way almost succeeded. He didn't want anyone but Noah and family on the ark, whether they desired to be saved or not. He didn't have any care for righteous Noah and his family. God just wanted everyone dead (including Noah) and the only reason humanity survived to this day is because some good in Noah prevented him from carrying out God's task. So our merciless, angry, impersonal God was unable to carry out his judgement on humanity, because he unfortunately got thwarted by a good man, and was left to sit up in heaven, no doubt ruing humanity, and angrily watching as we became meat-eaters once again.

There's this thought among the Christian community sometimes that if we get people into a theatre to watch something 'Christian' this is good. It's got a Bible story-base and a Christiany theme or two, and despite a bunch of added junk, the story of the Bible is still getting out. The Bible is not a story book. It's a book telling about the redemption of humanity from the wrath of God. If you're going to have the wrath of a silent God with no offer of redemption or sovereign control, you don't have a Bible story. You have a deistic fairy tale. You haven't accomplished anything by getting unbelievers into a move theatre. You've successfully educated them on a god that doesn't exist, and pointed them to no gospel at all.

Can God use all kinds of things for good? Sure. But in the Bible, the only time He's speaking through donkeys is when the prophets are lousy. If the 'rocks are crying out,' its because all the Christian's are sucking at their job. And if this Hollywood movie is doing something beneficial for the spread of the Biblical message, its because the church is doing a pathetic job of representing the God who beautifully balances wrath and grace.

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